Mike Tyson Documentary

The new Mike Tyson documentary titled Punched Out: The Mike Tyson Story is scheduled to premeire at the premiere at the 2009 SXSW Film Festival. Containing interviews with Von Kaiser, Soda Popinski, Don Flamenco, King Hippo, Punched Out will show the ear-biting knockout king in a brand new light.

More information about the documentary can be found at

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_mike_tyson_documentary

For other groundbreaking political, social, and entertainment news, visit

http://www.theonion.com/content/index

Brand Yourself

If I were to brand myself, what label would I choose? What would I emphasize? What would I shroud from the world? My life is not always an open book, but neither is it a lock box. I do not hide who I am, but I do not always know precisely who I am. The identity I am comfortable with is a "sinner saved by grace". Though that label is vague, it encompasses all of me. When I try, I fail. That is not to say that my efforts are fruitless or that my opportunities are wasted. I grow. I learn. What do I learn? I learn that all I do, even the good things, need to be covered by the blood of Jesus. Sometimes I excel academically or in a game or at a job, but no matter how much I succeed, there is more to be done. I take comfort in that because it means that no matter how far I fall, grace still holds me firm.

Brand myself? This exercise requires a level of self esteem I'm not sure I possess. I don't want to promote me because I am not worth promoting. The Spirit within me is the only thing I can claim as good. The grace I have been washed in is the only thing by which I can boast. I work hard, but not hard enough. I love strongly, but I don't love enough. I've been given a mind that can solve problems, but I don't solve them well enough. I've been given creativity, but often I allow it to lay dormant.

Brand myself? I am a shining examples of mistakes not to make and impulses not to follow. I am a monument to squandered potential. My life has been a roller coaster, and many times I have chiseled the tracks, only to find myself not derailed because of the power of God. I have a passion to expand God's kingdom, but I don't do enough. I demonstrate to the world on a regular basis how a Christian should not behave. the positive side of my shortcomings is that I have no room to judge the shortcomings of others. I can empathize with fellow sinners and I do have a hope to give them, but that hope has nothing to do with me. The only way. The only truth. The only life is in Jesus Christ who displayed the awesome power of God through weakness and allows himself to be strong even when we are weakest.

Somali-Americans Join Power Struggle in Somalia

Newsweek reports that al Shabab, an Islamic political group in Somalia, has been enlisting Minneapolis Somali-American men into a power struggle in the lawless country. Newsweek's story focuses on the personal story of Burhan Hassan, a 17 year old boy who mysteriously left his Minneapolis home in December, 2008 to go to Kismaayo, Somalia. Shirwa Ahmed, also from Minneapolis, blew himself up in Somalia last October.

United States Officials fear that other al Shabab agents are in the United States, but the FBI, KWLM radio, and Minneapolis channel 6 news are reluctant to connect the Abubakar As-Saddique Islamic Center, a mosque that several of the missing persons prayed at. The channel 6 report only gives the mosque's vague official statement. Only Newsweek investigated the issue by interviewing Yusuf Shaba, a writer for Minneapolis Somali-English paper the Warsan Times.

Shaba recalled an incident in a small section of Abubakar called Imam Shafii where a Somalian Militant told the audience that Jihad was necessary and grew very emotional. After the message, Shaba no longer allowed his children to attend the mosque. When Newsweek tried to validate his story with Abubakar, they denied allowing any Somali militants to speak in their mosque.

When I investigated online, I found an article on somalitalkradio.com that advertised a Somali conference at Abubakar. Basically, if not directly involved, Abubakar knows something. Regardless, I do not think there is any national security threat. Despite supposed ties with Al Qaeda, al Shabab seems to have few concerns outside Somalia, where they are unlikely to be any better or worse leaders than the alternatives.

Ready to Die

Times get hard. Satan sends his attack

He doesn't fight fair. He jabs his knife at your back.

Your palms get sweaty and the air gets heavy

The danger surrounds and you can't feel ready.

Ok. Now it's time for life to get real.

Now it's what you really want and not what you feel.

Are you sayin' Jesus name to add some comfort to your life

Or if the push came to shove could you stand up through the strife?

Did you give Him your life or are you living a lie?

Were it to end tonight could you accept no matter why?

This shit is bloody baby and its splattered with pain.

This life gets messy baby. After death comes the gain.

I'm not talkin' bout a resolution.

It's the resurrection.

It's a revolution.

This is radical baby are you ready to die?

If He was comin' today would you be ready to fly?

Would you be scared out your mind--like he'd expose your lie?

Or is it grace that you lean on, are you ready to die?

Before you think this rant is being self-righteous,

let me clear the air yo. I am not righteous.

I'm a sinner baby--more than you know.

I have been crazy since He said the word GO!

Am I ready to die? Well tonight I am,

But I've thought before that I was surely damned.

On the positive side, my faith is not in me.

After all that I've been through it could never be.

On the day that I stand before the throne,

I'm covered by the blood of Jesus Christ alone!

I'm not talkin' bout a resolution.

It's the resurrection.

It's a revolution.

This is radical baby are you ready to die?

If He was comin' today would you be ready to fly?

Would you be scared out your mind--like he'd expose your lie?

Or is it grace that you lean on, are you ready to die?

Bombs, Blameshifting, and the Media

The six month cease-fire between Israel and Palestine on the Gaza strip has eroded. This news is a real shocker to all historians. After all, Israel and Palestine have such a peaceful history with one another....right?
Wrong. Turmoil has filled the middle-east since the Hebrews claimed the land in circa the age of dirt, B.C. The fault in this particular instance of violence lies on both sides. The problem is that the atmosphere is so explosive that neither side is willing to accept any blame. United States media has its own agenda: $$$. Regardless of the facts, the united states media would probably side with Israel. Not to say Israel is completely responsible for the violence--the responsibility lies on both sides of the border. I only mean that the U.S. loyalty to the Israeli agenda runs deeper than than its loyalty to the truth. Regardless of what the said truth is, conflict is not likely to be resolved until the world ends. At that point, fault-finding will be a futile exercise anyway.

Hello World

If you are looking for scathing social commentary, relevant bits of wisdom, or detailed reporting on current affairs, you are looking at the wrong blog. I have nothing important to say. Incoherent ramblings about trivial madness are what you will find here. Gibberish--that is my specialty. New gibberish will appear on this dreadful weblog once every two weeks. Enjoy--or don't. If I were to gamble, I would put my money on the latter.